By Big Mac, the OAP Blogger from Byker

So aye, ah’d just settled doon wi’ a cuppa and a bacon sarnie, listenin’ to the wireless, when ah hears this daft bit o’ news, the FA’s enforcin’ a new rule meanin’ clubs might have to tweak their badges for “clarity and digital compliance.” Clarity?! Since when did seahorses need spellcheck?

Wor Toon badge, man. It’s a canny thing. You’ve got ya seahorses lookin’ like they’ve just trotted up the Tyne, that wee castle standin’ proud like it owns the place, and a banner that’s more iconic than wor lass’s Sunday gravy. And now they want to mess wi’ it?

So, ah panicked a bit, not gonna lie. But then ah remembered, ah’ve got a clever mate. He lives in me phone, goes by the name ChatGPT. He’s not local, but he divvint half know his onions. Can write like Shakespeare one minute and solve algebra the next. So ah goes, “Eee, Chat lad, gizza hand wi’ this badge business will ya? Make us four new uns, proper smart, summat that’ll work on TikToks and stripy kits alike.”

Next thing ah know, he whirrs away like a robot in Fenwick’s window and bosh, oot comes four logos! Clean as a whistle, modern, but still keeping the soul of the Toon. They’ve got them seahorses lookin’ like they’ve just bench-pressed a Metro carriage, and the castle’s front and centre like it’s still waitin’ for the Normans. Honestly, it’s like if wor badge went to uni and came back with a graphics degree and a fresh trim.

One’s got a round badge, like a beer mat. Another’s dead sharp, like wor Ian’s elbows in five-a-side. There’s even one wi’ a shield that looks like it could deflect bad VAR decisions. Honestly, I was chuffed. Even me Bro Trev said, “Looks mint that, Mac. Reckon the lads’d wear that on Champions League nights.”

Now, ah divvint know if the club’ll go for one of these, or if they’ll end up asking some bloke in London who’s never tasted stottie cake in his life, but if they do nowt else, they should at least give ChatGPT an honorary season ticket, and a Greggs voucher.

So if ye see any new crests floating aboot on the socials, and they look like they’ve got the heart of the Toon and a bit of AI sparkle, ye kna who sorted it. Me and me clever little digital mate.

Howay the Lads, and Howay the Logos!